No Settlements, No Sentiments, No Sediments

"Much of the conversation in the county consisted of lines from television shows, both present and past." - Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

"Mean everything in the world to you after you bought it. Simple exchange of values. You give them money. They give you a stuffed dog.” - Bill, walking by a taxidermist's, in Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises

“As often as I've read the Gospels I've never run across a single reference to the baggage that Jesus toted around. There is not even mention of a satchel, such as Somerset Maugham made use of when walking about in China. (Bufano, the sculptor, travels lighter than any man I know, but even Bennie is obliged to carry a shaving kit in which he stuffs a change of linen, a toothbrush and a pair of socks.) As for Jesus by all accounts he didn't own a toothbrush[...] He had no wants, that's the thing. He didn't even have to think about such a menial job as wardrobe attendant. After a time he ceased working as a carpenter. Not that he was looking for bigger wages. No, he had more important work to do. He set out to prove the absurdity of living by the sweat of one's brow. Behold the lilies in the field...." - Henry Miller, Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch

Not so long ago, I read through these quotes and others (from books I've read in the past year), and felt a bit inspired - to live life in the most "ideal" way. Then I asked myself if I had not felt that way before. I had. And had I changed or improved or developed since the last time I felt that way? And the time before? Perhaps, yes. But perhaps that's a superficial question to ask in the first place.

If one looks at life from a purely physiological viewpoint, considering the vast changes in body and mind from minute to minute (even second to second), then one is never really the same person as he or she was a few minutes ago. "Last election I voted Republican, this election I didn't vote at all." "Last week I ate turkey sandwiches, this week I eat pizza." "Yesterday I believed in a god, today I believe in a Donald Trump." There's no permanence, no "I," no "me," and no "you." And if "I" accept this perspective, then whether or not I've developed or improved means nothing compared to the way I live right now.

This perspective can also be applied to all the "menial jobs" out there, the ones where the surplus of profits (after 1) business expenses; and 2) employees' survival: food and shelter) serves only to line the pockets of those higher up on the chain, thus equating the employees' work with a "waste of time" in the truest sense possible, but we'll save that conversation for another day....

This will serve as my journalistic contribution to reporting on the Royal Wedding

Disclaimer: the following entry was written in my notebook an undisclosed period of time ago. Not only does it seem more vain and self-centered than usual, but it has become outmoded. I don't think it accurately reflects my current state of mind, my attitude towards others, or my attitude towards my own living. However, there are a few kernels of well-intentioned thought within, and - more importantly - this passage represents a flux of thought that I have begun to embrace. I mean, purely for the sake of the flux. Hopefully, when compared to past and future writings, the following words will represent but a moment in time. Nothing more. (Also, I haven't written on here in awhile, so I felt like I should put something up. It's pretty short anyway.)

I see a guy on the #57 bus with a waxed mustache, a goatee, and long hair under a beret. He's also wearing a blazer. I'm thinking that this guy is the cheesiest goddamn stereotype in the world, especially with that pensive-brooding look on his face.

I used to dress "weirdly." I wore and combined styles that I thought no one else wore, and I may have been right. For awhile, I wore '60s checked polyester pants with T-shirts. Later, when playing guitar for Send More Cops, I always wore black pleated trousers and outrageously-patterned '70s button-downs with only the widest of lapels. These styles felt to me to be truly unique, and maybe they were... but after living in Boston for a period of time (and even growing a mustache years before it become ironic in Allston; I thought it was fucking funny and classy), I became conscious of playing a role. No matter how unique my style was, it became a substitute - and not an aid - for more authentic living.

So I decided I might as well just wear jeans, vaguely follow the trends, and blend in. It's more or less worked, hasn't it? Now all the weirdness I tried to outwardly display has been pushed back inside....